First stumble...and some explanation

OK, so I went home, or rather, to my sister's home, outside of DC last week. It wasn't the most stellar of diet experiences. To be fair to myself, I was somewhat beholden to what the rest of the household was eating. To be honest, I still could have done better. To be fair, I didn't overindulge or stuff myself like crazy. To be honest, I didn't have to mainline the wine.

So there's a lot of fairness and honesty there. Stumbles included too much takeout in the form of burgers and burritos. There's a serious lack of fresh fruit in my sister's house. I like fruit, and I turn to it often for snacking. Victories include that I split most of the "bad" dishes and stayed pretty conscious of what I was eating. Best of all, I got back on the wagon as soon as I got home. And I only gained about 1 pound.

One thing that was startling? I've become pretty clued in recently to where this body struggle of mine has come from. Still, I was shocked to hear some of the things that my mother and sister say about theirs. My mother is almost 60 years old, and she's beautiful and in pretty damn good shape. She's got great legs, toned arms and a killer smile. Yet all she sees are flaws. It is so sad and so scary. My sister, who has always been naturally thin, is carrying, oh, probably five pounds more than she wants to on her frame, and refers to herself as fat. And my grandmother? In incredible shape at 82, spry and fit, was crowing over a 2-pound weight loss after being sick for a week. Granted, she was saying it was because she had stopped drinking her glass of wine each night. But still. So part of me thought "then what must they think of me?" So I let them in on the dieting...and about how much I weigh. The next morning, we were playing with my nephew in the basement, and I pointed to one of the small blue chairs he has in his playroom and asked, "Can those support the weight of an adult?" My mom laughed and said that she'd sat on them, but didn't know about me and raised an eyebrow. I. Could. Hardly. Believe. It. And it hurt.

So the whole sanity part of this? Maybe even more important than I realized.