Credit

I think I'm on day 6 (maybe 7) of the Beck's Diet Solution. I have done all my homework. I have written things down and eaten meals slowly and mindfully and I have given myself credit. At a dinner out with friends, I took one tiny taste of a shared tiramisu, and smugly winked at the old me that was wringing her mental hands and keeping spoon aloft to make sure nobody got any more than her.
I am feeling really good about this whole thing. A little silly, yes, what with all the notetaking and whatnot but powerful and in control. I really think I've flipped a switch.
One of the things that resonates with me a LOT is the feeling of it's not fair. It's not fair that I can't eat what I want all the time. It's not fair that delicious things like cookies and port salut cheese are not as nutritionally virtuous as broccoli and raw almonds. It's not fair that _______ gets to eat _______ and is still thin. And Beck pretty much kicks that shit to the curb. Basically, one can dwell on those things, or they can say, "well, I can't. I can't do those things and look how I want to look." And then she points out something else: most thin people are trying, that they watch what they eat very carefully. That made me stop and think a minute. While this may not apply to my over-metabolized, muscled, ball-of-energy husband who never met a calorie he didn't like, it actually does apply to most of my friends, who are mostly pretty trim. They don't eat like I eat.
Case in point: My very very thin best friend, J. Lives in Hollywood, and is out-skinnying many of the models and actresses there. Yes, she's naturally thin. Yes, she can and has put down a pint of ice cream during a movie. But most of the time, she eats very healthfully. Egg whites and veggies, tomato slices instead of potatoes, and vodka sodas. Well, that last one is not necessarily healthy, but it's sure lower in calories than my pint of IPA.
2nd Case in point: My "why couldn't I have been built that way" sister. She used to say that she ate what was basically the slim-fast diet because she was too busy during the day to fix meals. I call bullshit. She doesn't always watch what she eats all the time, doesn't turn down a treat, but she also doesn't eat that much. There's always food left over on her plate. I've looked down after I sopped up ketchup with my last fry to see half of her burger still on her plate, with potato accompaniment. She's satisfied, and I'm stuffed.

So maybe it's not fair. Maybe it's going to be hard. But it's worth it.