On Romance

With Valentine's Day coming up, it's almost impossible to escape the romance-think. Even though my husband and I aren't the V-day types, I do have a couple of thoughts on the subject...
Feeling sexy and being comfortable naked are a major motivator for me to lose weight. I've never been the "only in the dark under the covers" kinda girl, but there's no doubt that feeling fat is a major turn-off.

For our year anniversary, adventure-boy (the husband) and I went to a scrumptious dinner at a local French-inspired restaurant. The meal was amazing: a cheese course, truffle-oil laced fresh pasta with mushrooms and other various indulgences. I think we skipped dessert, but the richness of the meal had already done the damage...I was stuffed, uncomfortably so, and all I could think about was going home, getting in my pj's and going to bed. Sans sex. As much as I wanted to continue the celebration, I felt physically and psychologically ill.

On the flip side, since I've started to lose a little weight and feel better about my body both in and outside of pants, our sex life has, ahem, perked up. Maybe it's me. But I know that I've felt more desirable and been desired more in the last couple of months than in the months preceding. It's a nice feeling.

The Gym in January + Random Thoughts.

I think it's hilarious the 0-60 the gym population takes in January. I also find it inconvenient, as I wiggle past the guy doing shrugs (such a guys-only move) and pardon my way around the bench pressers to get to the water fountain, then turn around and do it all again. Then I have to duck under the Smith machine because there's someone doing squats on the other side and run back to my mat before someone sneaks into my place. Can I count that as part of my workout?

In other news, it has been unseasonably warm for the last few days (hurrah!) and today I pulled myself out of bed to go for a raunk (run/walk) around the breakwall ~ the sun was coming up and it was all beautiful and fresh and the world was alive I tell you! And there were lots of older people to say "good morning" to and wonder whether or not I was actually screaming "GOOD MORNING" to them becuase I had my headphones on and was jammin'. But at least I was polite.

Additionally, I weighed myself last night and I weighed one pound more than I did last Thursday, but last Thursday I had lost five pounds in a week so I was wondering whether or not that could really be true. So although my heart broke a little bit when I stepped on the scale last night, I still have lost four pounds in January! And it's only halfway through the month! So that's very exciting. Viva la BDS!

Let's Talk About It

I think one of the hardest things about Beck's Diet Solution (hereby referred to as BDS) is the diet coach requirement. It was something I hemmed and hawed over, briefly considered skipping, and ultimately chose my husband to fulfill the role. He's taken to it, which is endearing. We'd talk about food all the time anyway, discussing what we'd have for dinner, breakfast, which pie we'd have for dessert, etc. so in a way it's not all that foreign. I just hope I don't end up hating him the day he asks me how my diet has been and I am forced to respond that I inhaled three muffins that someone brought in to work and stopped for In-n-Out on the way home because I was in a dismal state. That's the hard thing - when you tell people you're dieting, they know. THEY KNOW. They know that those garlic fries are not part of your plan. And then they remind you of that fact. And then you hate them along with yourself. That is unproductive.

I know this because the last time I told someone I was dieting, and asked for their help, it is what happened. And I overate spitefully. I still remember that, and it has been 10 years. The food in question was either jalepeno poppers with cream cheese inside or tortilla chips with salsa and sour cream. The boyfriend was not really forgiven. I felt crappy and fat and it was a disaster.

So why have I chosen my husband? It's simple - he's the closest to me. I can't lie. I can't avoid him (at least not for very long). And I think he can help. And I believe the BDS can change my brain. Not so that I will never have a over-indulgent day, but that I will be able to look at the day as such (just one day), and move on.

Movie Madness - I score.

So I went to see a movie last night - Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. It was pretty good, Michael Cera is adorable, and the soundtrack had me boppin around in my seat most of the film. I love the movie ritual, and part of that ritual for me has always been the popcorn-soft drink-candy unholy trio. So, in a play to be more prepared, and plan! Plan! Plan! I grabbed a flavored seltzer and a couple of fruit leathers, which have an unfortunate name, but are basically just mashed dried fruit, reminiscent of the roll-ups I was always jealous other kids had in their lunchboxes. At 45 calories each, a bargain! I also have in my purse a tin of Sweetriot, a chocolate candy that is basically a cacao nib dunked in dark chocolate. Yum. So I got to the movie, sat down, cracked open the seltzer which promptly exploded on my pants (a stunt likely facilitated by the "no outside food or beverages" troll who is employed by movie theater - what you've never seen him?) and sipped away. I had a couple of Sweetriot candies (picture chocolate nerds) and really enjoyed the movie. I didn't feel sick when I left the theatre, whereas I'm often reeling from a sugar high/crash. Yay me. Score one.